The Session No. 84: Inform Us, Mr. Postman

The Session, a.k.a. Beer Blogging Friday, is an opportunity once a month for beer bloggers from around the world to get together and write from their own unique perspective on a single topic. Each month, a different beer blogger hosts the Session, chooses a topic and creates a round-up listing all of the participants, along with a short pithy critique of each entry.

You know, for once I began preparations to type up this month's edition of these posts and it actually feels like it's been a while since we all combined for the Against the Grain Session post. Well, with that said we embark on the second installment for 2014. This month's idea comes from Oliver hailing from Literature and Libation and it concerns Alternative beer reviews, but we can't actually review the beer. Confused? How about a bit from his blog?

"So for my turn hosting The Session, I ask all of you to review a beer. Any beer. Of your choosing even! There’s a catch though, just one eentsy, tiny rule that you have to adhere to: you cannot review the beer.

I know it sounds like the yeast finally got to my brain, but hear me out: I mean that you can’t write about SRM color, or mouthfeel, or head retention. Absolutely no discussion of malt backbones or hop profiles allowed. Lacing and aroma descriptions are right out. Don’t even think about rating the beer out of ten possible points

But, to balance that, you can literally do anything else you want. I mean it. Go beernuts. Uncap your muse and let the beer guide your creativity."

Thus, I figured that I could not fully agree to the terms of this Session post. I'm too much of a beer geek. I've spent many posts on this blog describing foam, its lacing, the smell of malt and hops as well as the fizzy carbonation texture some brews provide. Oliver mentioned in his announcement post that we could go the route of Seinfeld or even Lady Gaga. So that's why I've brought a name out of the past to write a guest post for today - Clifford C. Clavin. I kept trying to get him to review Yards Philadelphia Pale Ale, but Mr. Clavin insisted on talking about the history of Pale Ale instead.

Greetings my friends. I'd like to thank Bill there for his esteemed introduction. I've been provided with a mug of this hear..uh..Pale Ale. It looks like, uh. It smells like a...

You know what? Some argue that Pale Ale first became popular in colonial England, but DID YOU KNOW that Pale Ale didn't originate in England. The Pale Ale or as they used to refer to it - Plenus Attero of the Latin delineation - first saw the light back in the days of the obscure Kingdom of Yam. 

Yea, yea. Not only was it used for quenching the thirsts of the families of Yam, but it was so potent that it was also used for helping to carve out irrigation ditches for farming. So, when you think about it Pale Ale was not only one of the greatest drinks known to mankind. It was also the forefront for some of the farming ways we still use today!

According to my Ma, the name Pale Ale derived from the pails that were used when bringing out the ale to the farm fields to carve out those ditches! Wow, my Ma knows her stuff. Hey, why did the screen go out? The mouse doesn't work anymore either!? What's going on!? Normie!? Sammy!?