The Beer Snob Visits Burgatory AKA Burger Mecca

If you're a man's man then you can appreciate a good burger. Let me give you this scenario. You head out with your buddies craving a burger. All of you finally settle on a particular place. You head inside to get a table and you're told that the wait for one is approximately two hours.

What's to keep you from saying hell with this place and heading to the nearest Wendy's? Guess what? I'm about to make a two hour wait for a table sound worth it.

Burgatory, at the Waterworks Mall in northern Pittsburgh, has always been one of the prestigious burger joints around here. I just haven't made it there until this past weekend. The group I went with was told that we had an hour and a half wait for a table, which ended up becoming two hours. Let me say that by the end of my dinner, I would have waited double that amount of time to get another shot to eat at Burgatory.

To start, this place isn't just known for the burgers. It's also known for its milkshakes. The shake menu will make your jaw drop to the floor so be prepared  before clicking this link.

Two words: donut chunks.

I chose to go with the Coffee and Donuts shake, which had fine-grained Kona coffee and chunks of donuts in it. I never thought that having to chew contents of a shake after sucking it up through the straw could be such a rewarding experience.

Aside from my shake, I was also able to try the Apple Pancakes and Bacon which had a bit of bourbon mixed in. Not as good as the one I had, in my opinion. Other shakes that stick out to me on the menu are the Caramel Pretzel and the Campfire Smores.

For us craft beer folk, there is a pretty hefty selection to choose from. Always a plus if you aren't up to stomaching one of those hearty shakes.

The main course of your meal will definitely be some form of a sandwich. The burger/sandwich portion of the menu is actually somewhat disappointing, given the reputation Burgatory has, as you only have eight burgers/sandwiches to choose from.

I highly recommend going the route of making a custom burger. On your table you can take a small form and build your ultimate burger. You start my choosing your meat (beef, chicken, crab etc.), type of bun, meat rub (Angel Dust, Bayou Cajun, Sweet Onion etc.), cheese (Buffalo Cheddar, Amish Gorganzola, Horseradish Cheddar etc.), some sauce and sifting through a truckload of toppings.

Took five minutes to plot out an eating strategy.

As you can see the possibilities are pretty much endless. It also makes up for the deficiency on the actual menu. I decided to go with beef rubbed in crushed peppercorns with sharp provolone. I chose the house sauce which appears to some chipotle mix. As for toppings, I went breakfast style and got ham with a fried egg. I didn't forget about the lettuce and tomato so stop worrying. All of this was somehow fitted under a baguette. I couldn't believe it.

The picture I've supplied has sweet potato chips on the side. this is the default side Burgatory gives you, but I'm told that fries is also a possibility.

Burgatory truly provides you with a meal that makes you want to pass out once you've found a way to consume it. According to the website, there is a miniature version of Burgatory at Console Energy Center. Check it out.

If You Want Chinese Get to the Sesame Inn

A few months ago my dad brought home Chinese leftovers which I consumed like a vacuum once I dug into it. The dish was General Tso's Chicken. The source was the Sesame Inn in Mt. Lebanon.

Before I ate that, some of the best Chinese/Oriental cuisine I've had was from Me Lyng in Homestead. Up until last night it was a very even debate on which place cooked up the best Chinese food to its customers.

I paid a visit to the Sesame Inn at Station Square last night and was blown away, as I seem to be when it comes to food and beer. I started off my meal with a good beer, as I usually do, the choice being a Tsing Tao. That review is another story for another day.

A point I want to quickly make is that this place also served domestic beers aside from the few foreign ones. I just want to let you know that if you're the type that goes to a foreign restaurant and refuses to try the local drinks then you might not have a pulse. That never makes sense to me.

Anyways, there is a plethora of food on the menu. You can pick from any type of concoction such as orange, amazing, lemon etc. along with the type of meat/seafood you wish to enjoy it with.

That definitely isn't butter.

One interesting addition this place had on its menu that I've never seen before is the option of some Thai foods. Yet another reason to return to the Sesame Inn.

I went with the lemon chicken and was very pleased. When you get a chicken dish at your typical Chinese restaurant the chicken always looks the same. Not with this one.

My dish came out as fried chicken strips. You had to put the sauce on it yourself. The difference in taste was amazing. Make a note that not every meat dish is like this. The General Tso's I tried and my date's sesame chicken looked like you'd expect it.

Get to the Sesame Inn at either Station Square or Mt. Lebanon and try it out. Let me know what you think.

McRib: Heaven for Some, Hell for others

Fear not. I always said that I would get to a few posts specifically about food. I feel one food in particular deserves its share of airtime, regardless if you've enjoyed it or not.

For reasons that I still can't understand, the McRib has a cult following just like some movies out there do. I think that McDonald's only contributes to that by returning the sandwich to its menu just for a month or so out of the year. McDonald's retired the sandwich in 2005 and then only made it available for limited times each year after that.

Let's say you and a friend head to your nearest McDonald's for lunch. You eventually find out that your friend is a part of this mysterious underground clan we refer to as the followers of the McRib. You let him convince you to try this sandwich you've heard so much about.

Forgive me for what I'm about to do.

You fork over your hard-earned cash and open your box that features the word "temptation" on it to find what's pictured above. It looks like an appetizing sandwich. The bun is golden. The meat in between actually appears to be meat, even though that deep down we all know that doesn't exist at this fast food chain. If you ask me, it isn't anywhere close to real meat if the substance that makes it up has to be molded into an approximate shape of said meat.

Your mouth waters for a second until you take the top bun off and reveal what you're about to consume. Primanti Brothers' sandwiches are less of a mess than the McRib (they also bear real meat). As for the onions and dill pickles? Who the hell eats pickles on their ribs when you grill them on Memorial Day?

The barbecue sauce is the only thing appetizing to me. It had a decent amount of spice and tang. Just the thought that I might have been eating processed pig ears made me sick to my stomach. Thank god there was about six pounds of sauce, four pickles and a handful of diced onions to cover up the taste of the fake pork patty.

If you're apart of the McRib Occult, hurry up. It disappears from the menu Nov. 14.