Monday Rant: Quite Filling

The ringing chorus of light beer ads might still echo in our minds. "Great taste! Less filling! I don't recall exactly which light beer that series of ads stemmed from, but I would guess it was Miller. With that said, I still don't understand the concept of any beer throughout the world being less or more filling than an other. If you drink the same amount of two different types shouldn't physics dictate that you're full all the same?

Probably since the beginning of time indulgence of both food and drink have been a common happening in human civilization. Some of us beer geeks even go as far as pairing foods with the correct beers to experience different nuances and flavors.

In my college years, food went hand-in-hand with what we were drinking. We were fortunate enough to have a Sheetz directly across from the local tavern. That Sheetz is no longer there today, but is now down the street in Slippery Rock. When we first go away to school we are told about the horrors of the freshman 15. It took me a few years to really put mine on. So, once I was of legal age to drink a whole bunch of us ventured right to Sheetz after having some beer on the weekends. I've always been a proponent that beer doesn't directly cause weight gain. What I do agree with is that eating after drinking does way more to put it on. Think about it. Your liver is busy processing the alcohol and not the fat. Once you toss some late night fried goodies in there where does the fat then go? It gets stored.

I eventually noticed what was happening and decided to join a gym two years ago. I'm now a braggert about the weight I've lost. Tell you something you didn't know, right? In essence, I've always tried to do my eating during or before consumption of any form of alcohol.

This has also lead to a very minor problem. I feel very full on a typical Saturday night while sampling some new beer. Yikes. At least I still be sure to try and work most of it off throughout the work week.

After further research, it was Miller!

 

Monday Rant: Who the Hell is This?

I'm back after somewhat of a week of not writing anything due to other life stuff. To put it simply, I'm a worrier. Sometimes over the simplest situations. Back when I first started this blog I was finishing up my last year of college. I sort of used writing posts as a reward for finishing assignments, projects and exams. That would explain my tendency to only get two or three posts up a week at certain points that year.

Now that my tasks concerning last week are finished I can move on and begin posting consistently again. Not that there was anything major. I just like a clear mind when I write anything.

Back to regular business. I've thrown multiple tantrums on this blog in reference to the annoying Miller Lite ads we get bombarded with on television. If you watch sports it's even worse because it seems as if every three commercials is a Miller Lite ad.

The recent series in 2013 has been the celebrity friend commercials. I'm sure the Chuck Liddell and Ken Jeong commercials are still fresh in your memories. I'll give credit where credit is due. The Jeong ad kind of makes me laugh.

The newest addition to the line of ads features someone called Questlove. I say "someone" because I found myself befuddled as to who exactly Questlove is. It's still entirely possible that I'm just a cynical 60-year-old man in the body of a 25-year-old, but I still shouted at my television.

"Who the hell is Questlove!?"

I really had to research who it was. Then I realized that he is part of the band that played (or still plays) on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon which I stopped watching in college. I threw fits about the Pitbull ad on multiple occasions. I was almost close to it again on about the sixth viewing of this commercial. Another Festivus miracle.

It's tantrum throwing time!

Monday Rant: Will the Real Snobs Please Stand Up?

I once had a friend tell me a story about how he once was made fun of at the beer distributor because of the fact he was purchasing some sort of fancy beer. The culprit of the the transgression had a case of Coors Light cans tucked snugly under his arm in the check out line.

I had an incident over the weekend which was quite similar. Surprisingly, the guilty party was also a fan of the beers we deem unworthy in many cases. I brought a six pack of beer from my home collection to a social event, announced that anyone was free to take one or more and was quickly barraged by comments concerning these beers. They went as follows:

"If I had to have one of these it would be a dessert!"

"This one here looks like something I'd give to my wife."

I'm rarely one to cause a scene. Everyone has a right to express their thoughts. I didn't say anything to this individual that continued to drink Miller Lite. It struck me as ironic that someone can quickly say detrimental things towards a certain product yet still cling to a product they deem superior when it's fairly obvious that their product is made solely for the fact of being mass produced. The Miller and Coors light beers are essentially that to many of us in the craft beer movement. Yet, some of us are considered snobs.

I, along with the friend I mentioned at the beginning of this post, were always jokingly referred to as snobs. Hence the the name of my blog. With that said, I've never actually considered myself a beer snob after figuring out the existence of real beer snobs. I never realized it was such a divisive term. How ironic is it that the greater number of beer snobs could be residing on the other side of the fence?

Monday Rant: Watered Down

I remember a couple years ago getting out of a parked car with a buddy somewhere near the Birmingham Bridge on the South Side. We rose to see an ad on a billboard and pretty much laughed like hell at what it was - an ad for IC Light Mango.

I had to process the thought of mango flavor in beer as I hadn't tried it prior to that. I'm having one as I write this (remember I usually write each post the day prior to when they actually post) and I must admit that it's a bit of a struggle. Maybe since I've disclosed this information I can switch to writing in the present tense  Still, as I've always said free beer is better than no beer at all. I'd rather stomach some swill rather than be rude to my hosts.

Not only have I had that thus far. I've been lucky enough to have a can of America's favorite rust-flavored beer - Miller Lite. Don't worry. I'm planning on washing the taste of water and metal out of my mouth with a few brews out of my own stash once I return home.

I've done many a rant on Miller Lite, but let me say a few words about the IC Light Mango. Given the choice of the two in a world-ending zombie apocalypse situation I'd go with the Mango. I've had many beers with fruit flavoring and I've enjoyed the majority of them. Strawberry, blueberry, lemon and even blackberry. After having the Mango I can safely deduct that mango, in most cases, should be left as just the ordinary edible fruit. 

Just Pour It

Remember when I was all worked up about the Dogfish Head hybrid wine glass that was supposedly for hop-centered brews? I wasn't the only one, but to get to my point for this post the purpose behind my many rants about the ramming of such a glass down our throats is that it really doesn't matter to me what glass I'm drinking my beer out of.

Flute or Pokal? I drink, you decide.

With that said, I still am attracted to fancy beer glassware like a college kid that has his eyes set on a crush. A big part of that is because some glasses have history and stories behind them. Others have memories that tie us to them.

One of my best beer friends (the always mentioned Beer Snob Sr.) has an imperial pint Guinness glass that he stole from a pub in England. Prying it from his hands is a challenge. That's exactly what I mean. When my grandmother has some of us over for dinner there are two glasses there that I like consuming a beer from.

There's one of the old Duquesne Pilsener flutes along with an even older Miller Lite hybrid flute. I'm not sure exactly what the Miller one is. So, you can correct me if I'm wrong.

I obviously don't enjoy Miller Lite, but I have a deep affinity for that glass. Hey, I just love beer glasses. Sometimes the logo doesn't matter. Just what you put in it.

Monday Rant: Oh Dear God

Sick of that Tracy Morgan Mio commercial yet? I'm still on the fence as to whether or not this is all a big prank, but apparently there's some new product that enhances your beer with a single additive. If I'm putting two and two together correctly, this is just a Mio for bad beer. There looks to be flavors such as Pale Ale and American Ale in the lineup of additives referred to as "On Tap."

To me, it just adds to the argument that people that continually flock to the cheap and crappy beer are sort of lazy and cheap. I'm sure some of them are excited that all they need to do now is add this stuff to their watered-down Miller Lite to have it taste a little closer to a well-crafted beer. Oh yea, and they have a new fancy bottle to go along with it too.

It's really come to this. If there is a better sign of a nearing apocalypse, I haven't seen it yet. At least an apocalypse of the beer community. I've complained incessantly about the hop heads out there, but I'd welcome that light years before I'd welcome beer flavor additives.

 

Monday Rant: Lager than Life

Sometimes you just don't have that light bulb switch on in your head until you read something about a particular subject somewhere and realize how right it could be. I've even had such an experience where I read something and realized that it's so true, but I've never really figured it out enough in my own head. What I read ended up tying all of the loose ends.

You probably have no idea where I'm going with this, but I'll just make it much less complicated than I already have. If I said to you that lagers were pretty underrated in the beer world, would you agree with me?

The article I linked makes a good point about half way through. The word pilsner has been bastardized. From my point of view, that could possibly be from the numerous American lager commercials (i.e. Miller Coors etc.) claiming that they fall under this style. I know Miller Lite is assumed to be a pilsner. In my opinion, it tastes nothing like a pilsner. Maybe it tastes like the watered down American lager we've become ascertained to since the Great Depression.

A pretty damn good lager.

I also get an irking that many out there frown upon lagers because they're more traditional styles than some of the over-the-top and extremely creative brews we see in craft beer today. People flock to releases of double IPA's and barrel-aged stouts. Some breweries are forced to do away with some lagers because of time it spends taking up space in tanks. That's understandable as well as unfortunate.

I'm more of a traditional guy. I hated to see instant replay in baseball. I'm a staunch traditionalist. Maybe that's why I have a deep affinity for lagers? There's nothing wrong with enjoying some of the very exotic beers out there. Be my guest and partake. That's not hurting anything. Let's just not forget about some of the older and more traditional beer styles.

There are plenty of great and tasty styles in the lager category. A lot of good pilsners and helles lagers are popping out since we are close to summer. Before long we'll be enjoying Oktoberfests. How can I forget about Dunkels? There are a lot of good styles listed in the lager category in the previously mentioned article. Just check it out.

Monday Rant: What the Hell is on Your Face?

I remember exactly where I was when I came up with the idea to do this series of posts at the beginning of each week. I was sitting in Slippery Rock University's Bailey Library ready to write about something concerning my feelings towards malt liquor. Well, it looks like the Monday Rant that I write each week has spread a few wings.

Justin over at Justin's Brew Review, one of my online beer friends, has taken it upon himself to partake in the young tradition of writing beer rants. His subject? Miller Lite's claim of having a beer that's "triple hops brewed."

For the last few years I've found myself confused when hearing such a phrase during Miller Light commercials on television. I'm sure you have, too. The ironic thing is that the majority of us craft folk had to have Miller Lite at some point to know that it's not really that tasty. To be honest, I don't see where the hell they were going when they decided to start throwing that phrase out there. I don't get a sense of much hops at all with my experiences with Miller Lite. To quote one of my uncles, it tastes more like rusty water.

I have a friend that is a blue collar person. He enjoys drinking Miller Lite, Blue Moon etc. To each his own. I once took him to a local craft pub. He had about three beers. One of which I remember being Oskar Blues G'Knight. The other was called Farmer's Tan, but I don't remember who made it. About half way through this drinking session my friend developed a runny nose. He started sneezing. He also had hives break out on his face and neck.

It turns out he is allergic to hops. Go figure. Triple hopped? More like triple riced. The good news is that he ended up actually appreciating some craft offerings.
 

The Guinness Conundrum

I had a Twitter conversation a good while back about the status of Guinness both here in the states and across the pond with Boak & Bailey's Beer Blog. I was surprised to find out there was such disdain for Guinness in England. An other post by that blog explained the subject a bit more yesterday.

As time has gone on, I've discovered that there are a good number of foreign import beers that are pretty much sold here in the states simply because they're kind of shunned in England beer circles.

I never thought such disdain for Guinness was possible since it comes off, to me at least, somewhat popular in this country. I see it in pretty much every pub I frequent around Pittsburgh. Even in places that refuse to put the likes of AB-InBev/Miller-Coors on tap. I've heard about Guinness toast parties being put together everywhere.

My companion, Beer Snob Sr. even spoke of his affinity for Guinness while being in England during a portion of the 1990's. An affinity he holds to this day. He has a Guinness pint glass he stole from an English pub and clings to. Maybe he just ran into one of the crappier pubs while he was over there?

I'm just curious as to what others around this area feel towards Guinness. I've never claimed to be some beer expert and this is yet another instance of such. If Guinness is frowned up in this country as it apparently is over in England, have I been missing out? Is this just a case of Guinness Ireland including America in its market simply because a good number of us still consume a ton of bad beer, even with the craft boom going on? I'd love your input. This is a fascinating subject.

I know one thing for sure. If I ever get to England, I'll bet the farm that I won't find Miller Lite on draft.

Monday Rant: Beer Cans - Good or Bad?

An interesting poster I came across at Beer of Tomorrow brings up an intriguing point that many beer drinkers have been debating for years and perhaps will for the rest of eternity: canned beer.

From what I can gather there are people that hate having beer out of a can and there are also people that think it's the greatest thing since sliced bread. I think that the ball falls on both sides of the fence in this argument.

As you can see in the poster, having your beer in a can is almost like having it in a mini-keg as it can keep it colder easier. In my book this isn't always the best option. It depends on the beer you're drinking. I feel that a good bit of beers don't need to be really cold to be enjoyed at their fullest.

I agree with he energy-saving aspects brought up in the poster as cans are infinitely recyclable as well as the fact that your beer is less likely to become skunked in a can rather than being in a lighter-colored bottle

Where the argument goes south in my mind is the fact that I've had some beers out of a can taste totally different than it does on tap or out of the bottle, whichever is better depending on your preferences. This is something I've referred to as my "Yuengling Theory" which proposes that the beer tastes magnificently out of the bottle, but isn't the same from cans or on draft. I named it as such because Yuengling was the first beer I noticed this with.

Regardless of what I think, I don't think that you're wrong if you're on either side of the fence. This issue is something that will be deeply rooted in our own personal preferences of how we drink our beer. Just don't come to me and tell me how awesome you think the new Miller Lite punch-top can is. Yes, I had to remind myself how to breath after watching this commercial, too.

Monday Rant: Everything Tastes Odd From a Can

My apologies for the redundancy of the last two Monday Rants folks, but a few issues related to Miller Lite have just blown my mind. Last week I explained the stupidity of getting excited over the new release of Miller 64, this week it's the hilarity concerning Miller's new punch top can.

A punch top can. What a revelation to the beer industry. Now, frat boys across college campuses from here to the Pacific Ocean can now easily puncture the new perforated beer cans for a "smoother pour." Am I insane or is this "innovation" nothing but an easily shotgun-able beer?

How many more people are going to flock to crappy beer like sheep because the major American beer companies keep adding silly things to their cans and bottles? I'm so excited that your can or bottle turns blue when it's cold enough. Don't you realize that a good percentage of the beer's flavor is lost when you drink it extremely cold? At least let it get a bit closer to room temperature.

Hooray! Your favorite beer company crafted a bottle with scientific grooves in the stem to make your beer more fizzy! I prefer a natural head on my beer, not one with artificial help.

Now we have an easily-punched can that enables your beer to be poured smoother. Being a craft beer follower, I'm glad that craft breweries don't advertise the container its beer is being served in, but advertising the actual product it makes.

Why would you even want the beer to come out of the can easier and with increased speed? Can't you consume your beer at the normal consumption rate like the rest of the human race? Isn't the whole point of trying new beers to actually savor every drop and actually taste the concoction?

Good Lord, what's so great about a can anyways? Everything that's in a can just tastes odd from a can. At least pour it into a glass to relieve your tongue of the aluminum beating it's about to go through.

 

Monday Rant: Miller 64 Ad Campaign

I'm getting tired of having to sit through these new Miller 64 commercials every other television break. It's already enough that the existence of light beer annoys me.

The song is too catchy and annoying. I always find lyrics from it stuck in my head hours after I've seen the ad. The people depicted in it look like jackasses as well. First, you must give credit to Miller for some excellent marketing. That's how it's done. All of that and the fact that there are people out there that actually believe it's a healthier option.

Just because you consume a beer that's among the lightest in calories on the entire market doesn't mean you can still be a lazy bum every day.

Since I started this blog back in September of 2011 I've consumed more craft beer than I have at any point in my life. I also joined a gym at the beginning of January. I"m down approximately 18 lbs since I joined.

My weight loss certainly isn't because I decided to drink only the cheapest and lightest beer out there. I haven't changed my consumption of beer at all. I actually got off of my rear end to do something somewhat active. It's not like I put together this Schwarzennegger-esque workout either. I just try to be active and watch what I eat a little more closely.

By all means, keep thinking you're drinking of light beer will help you keep weight off if you're still a couch potato. I just hope you know that the next time you chug down six or seven beers and then to decide to consume half of a pizza with your buddy that once your liver is processing alcohol (regardless of what you drank) you're putting on weight once you choose to scarf something afterwards.